I found a link today describing “Things that every man should do before he dies.”

Needless to say, I was very disappointed because the list seems to have been written by editors of Stuff or Maxim, and let’s face it, every one of us has done at least 4 or 5 things on this list multiple times.
To this, I answer with my own list of Things Every REAL Man Should Do Before He Dies

Say “I love you” on the phone to your wife when your friends are listening
A real man should never be ashamed to say this to his wife. If he is, he should not have married her in the first place. Also, a half-assed, quiet, or patronizing “I love you” does not count. It has to be sincere, his friends need to hear it, and he needs to be proud saying it.

Admit defeat in home improvement
I am a computer engineer. I am not a plumber, carpenter, electrician, termite inspector… did I mention electrician? Therefore, when a man cannot fix something that is not part of his profession, he should not feel ashamed to call in the support. Also, when there’s a life-threatening situation involving something around the house (like a broken water pipe next to an electrical outlet or a broken toilet), he DEFINITELY needs to call in the support.

Walk away from a fight
Any idiot can start a fight. Be a bigger man and end one.

Cook a three-course meal
Being able to cook a real meal is a much bigger aphrodisiac than being able to kill your own food. Every man needs to know how to cook. If you must cheat, make the 2nd course a barbecue. Learn how to make soup from real ingredients — not from cans or powders — and learn how to make a cake (it doesn’t have to be fancy, just tasty). Providing for your family in times of need is much more noble than strangling a bunny.

Drive the speed limit (and otherwise obey the rules of the road) for a week
This is an effective test of patience. A man will never exercise that much patience as when he drives the actual speed limit or lets jerk drivers cut in front of him. It forces him to put his ego aside, and just once obey the rules of the system. Guaranteed, this is going to provide a new perspective on driving.

Being a real man is not hard. Being a real man takes patience, letting go of your ego, and simply not being a jerk. That said, it’s still fun to do things in the linked article, but they simply do not make you a real man, as the article will have you believe.